Prayer

So this isn't my journal for tonight, but I am in a battle with myself and am in need of support and direction.  

God,

You know my heart, you know my desires, you know my abilities, you know my life 10 years from now, you know everything about me.  God I am in a struggle with myself and feel like I have no direction and you know me, I am like a headless rooster wandering and hitting walls without direction.  I want so badly to learn and to grow for you, but have no idea where I will be doing that one year from now.  I want to go to a school where the Bible and ministry is what happens, where God is number one and serving you and growing with you is a priority.  I also want to go to a school where relationships are God honoring and fun, and the activities are amazing. I want to get involved and go to sporting events and meet new people all the time and have floor bonding.  But i feel like these two don't seem to go hand in hand.  I mean I'm sure tehre are many schools that are like this, but not to the extent I want and not for the price I can afford.  i know you say you will provide, but it makes me nervous taking money from my parents, I just have that guilt as if I am a burden for them in a time when there are other places that need that support.  God I just have no idea where you want me when I return from Costa Rica.  Please help me to figure out where you are leading and provide me with a clear direction.  I'm so confused and it is really hard for me to leave knowing that my future is so unsure.  I know tha tyou have my life planned out to the tee and I pray I will go in the direction of your will.  College is a huge step and the path I take affects every aspect of my future; possibly my career, my financial state, my friendship, possibly a future husband, my home, and it scares me to death. God you say, "fear not, for I am with you" and that to me is so consoling. You are with me...in the worst and best times.  Thank you for being with me..I love you

Christy