Confession: (I believe in being vulnerable as the Christian body, and may the Spirit work in your heart as I share some struggles I have)
*Honoring God with my body: I struggle with balancing a healthy diet and working out at school. It's tough. Sometimes I'll feel like I've achieved it and the minute pride sets in, Satan drags me out and entices me. This leads to...
*Identity in Christ: When I'm not honoring God with my body, I begin to put myself in a category of how the world views me. I begin to look at myself and who God created me and judge my looks, talents, personality, etc. I look for my security in others, which is not where it should be.
*Coveting: Whether that looks like a new northface, or a relationship, or a certain character trait/physical aspect; it is all sin to God.
*Financially: As I am getting older, I love learning how to use my money wisely and part of this is ignorance, but part is not. I am beginning to see that where I put my money isn't fully honoring God. Honestly, my parents are paying for school, I have a job, I don't need to be spending, but somehow, I always seem to spend so much, which isn't wise. Yes, I am giving a lot, but I could be doing other things more wisely financially.
*Comfort: I'm getting comfortable, plain and simple. At Moody, we definitely are a bubble and I'm letting myself fall into it. I'm allowing myself to be settled with once a week PCM and once a week church. Am I evangelizing? Am I investing in others' lives? Am I building up the body of Christ? The answer to all of the following is definitely not to the extent needed.
*Selfish: Oh boy am I realizing this. In anything and everything, I have to ask myself why I am doing something. Even the little things like listening to someone, what are my motives? Am I doing this to gain something for myself. Man, this is becoming a bigger and bigger issue each day as I let God reveal this in my life.
*Love: This goes along with the selfishness. I am not loving God and others as they deserve. I am realizing how good I've been at giving 50% and saying that is the full extent of what I can give. I am realizing that I don't give fully until I know that I will receive in the end. I am realizing that we are to love without fear, something I am not good at all and still learning.
God,
these are some huge issues. They are small little topics that can easily be changed. I am constantly falling short of what you desire from me. I am by no means deserving of your perfect love, or you abundant grace. I am nothing but a wretched sinner, damned to hell by my own choices. God on this very day, a few thousand years ago, you came to this earth for me. You gave up your glory, you put aside your throne and came to this earth as the son of a young girl. With blood sweated out of you in tears of anguish some 30 years into your life, you chose to save me when I didn't deserve it. You prayed for that cup to be taken from you, but even when God said no, to his only son whom he loved, even when your father forsaked you on that cross, you chose me. You were rejected, you were mocked, you were beaten, you were unloved. Still, even through just the pain and hurt of this earth, you overcame it. Thank you for choosing me, God for coming to this world and saving the least of these as myself. God, I so often forget how great a sinner I am. I forget that I am undeserving of anything, that all I am and I have is solely by your grace. Lord God bring me to my knees father. I want to be helpless God so that I cry out to you all the days of my life! As I begin this time of refocusing my eyes on you father, may my heart be in check father. May my motives be pure and my eyes on the prize. May I seek your face continuously and be ready and willing to hear your rebuke, your encouragement, you wisdom and guidance. Hear me O Lord, listen to my prayers Father. I know it is by your grace alone that my prayers will be answered. Create in my a clean heart lord. Forgive me for these things that I've written down and those that I haven't come to acknowledge God. May I be pure and blameless, declared righteous in your name. God, the prayers of a righteous man are both powerful and effective and so God, because of your mercy in forgiveness, you have declared me righteous and so Father I pray that this week as I pour out to you father, may you show your power and grace and love. Show it for your name's sake, so that your name might not be defamed, that you would not yield your glory to another. God I thank you for a beautiful night God, that I have a family to celebrate you with. A family that loves you over anything father. I thank you for food to eat and a warm home to be in away from the cold. Lord as I begin this fast father, I know it will be tough. It always is. God I pray you would stretch me Lord. I pray you would strengthen me, and you would be my daily bread father. That I would find my joy in you and not the delights of this world. I pray you would create discipline in me and that I would just be refocused and renewed. Lord lead me by streams of water, restore my soul, so that my cup overflows with you. May I be a blessing to the people around me and may I use this time to put others first and give to others. If at any point Lord my heart's motives are wrong God convict me and bring me back to you. Protect me from Satan's schemes in this God and pour your spirit over me and fill me to the brim. God you deserve to be number 1 and you haven't been. I am sorry father, forgive me. Forgive me and God may I draw near to you father, because you promise that when I do that, you will draw near to me. God thanks for a great year, filled with challenges and new experiences. I love you.
Amen
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