Prayer

I can't even get myself to open the Bible tonight. I want to, but I am tired, confused, and wanting more.  God is teaching me patience, or something of the sorts, and it's hard.  Especially since well its been about 7 years I've been waiting and its starting to catch up with me.  My heart is breaking; desiring more than just the friendship.

Pray for me please.  Pray that I have patience, and don't get hurt more than I am already.  Only 28 days.  The fact is; I know I won't be able to escape this feeling even in Costa Rica.

Prayer

So this isn't my journal for tonight, but I am in a battle with myself and am in need of support and direction.  

God,

You know my heart, you know my desires, you know my abilities, you know my life 10 years from now, you know everything about me.  God I am in a struggle with myself and feel like I have no direction and you know me, I am like a headless rooster wandering and hitting walls without direction.  I want so badly to learn and to grow for you, but have no idea where I will be doing that one year from now.  I want to go to a school where the Bible and ministry is what happens, where God is number one and serving you and growing with you is a priority.  I also want to go to a school where relationships are God honoring and fun, and the activities are amazing. I want to get involved and go to sporting events and meet new people all the time and have floor bonding.  But i feel like these two don't seem to go hand in hand.  I mean I'm sure tehre are many schools that are like this, but not to the extent I want and not for the price I can afford.  i know you say you will provide, but it makes me nervous taking money from my parents, I just have that guilt as if I am a burden for them in a time when there are other places that need that support.  God I just have no idea where you want me when I return from Costa Rica.  Please help me to figure out where you are leading and provide me with a clear direction.  I'm so confused and it is really hard for me to leave knowing that my future is so unsure.  I know tha tyou have my life planned out to the tee and I pray I will go in the direction of your will.  College is a huge step and the path I take affects every aspect of my future; possibly my career, my financial state, my friendship, possibly a future husband, my home, and it scares me to death. God you say, "fear not, for I am with you" and that to me is so consoling. You are with me...in the worst and best times.  Thank you for being with me..I love you

Christy

Thankful

So tonight I am exhausted and not feeling up to par and just didn't have a great day.  I feel like I have reached my limit of how much my body can take.  I need sleep and rest. So tonight I am going to go through a list of some things i am thankful for in my life.

My computer-so that I can relate to friends, do these devotions, use the calendar, listen to music

My Bible-so that I can dive into the scriptures and grow 

My house-filled with memories and a warm bed that I can sleep in

My camera-captures the memories and friends i've made

My Christian friends-encourage me, challenge me, and worship with me

My non-christian friends- giving me opportuniteis to share Christ, challenging me to stand up for my faith

My mom- for being gracious and compassionate and always there when I just need to talk for making my dinner every night and cleaning up after me, giving me a prime example of a woman of God

My dad- for showing me exactly what it means to be a disciple of Christ, having passion and taking ministry to a new level, for being great with money, and providing me with all I need and many things I would like

My sister Julie-for being kind and such a role model to me, showing me exactly what I want to be like when i get older, listening to God, discipling others, relying on his power, she is phenominal

My sister Jamie- for showing me what it means to have inner and outer beauty, for her compassion and kindness to those of less fortunate, for being generous with time and finances to help others come to Christ

My church- providing a place where I have grown up and learned to love the Lord and found friends that I believe will last a lifetime

My jobs- flexible and offering good experience that will help later in life, also giving me money to give back to God and take some of the pressure off of my parents

My car- well not my car, but the cars we have, this enables me to drive to work and use when I need it, without it I'm not sure what i would do or wehre I would be

Sleep- allowing me to regenerate myself

My mentor girls and small group girls- challenging me to become a leader, learn new ways of studying the Bible, dig deeper, make new connections, and relate to younger students, love them

Hub volunteers- for their willingness to serve God and the students in the Hub

My coworkers- for putting up with me and being so kind and supportive of me even though I am young

my spiritual gifts- you have given me special gifts that have provided opportunities 

my talents- abilities and strengths that I enjoy and can meet new people and make memories

There are many many many more and Lord you know them,

but here are a few

Thank you Lord for your blessings