Control

The idea of control has been the focus of my week thus far. Whether class, convictions, or conversations, all have centered around this theme. And, to be honest, it is a topic I try to avoid, a topic that penetrates with Truth and when not complimented with grace, condemnation.

Trust and control go hand-in-hand and to be honest I'm not very good at either.  I like control, then blame is on me when something happens, or I can do what I prefer, or my heart doesn't get hurt. I am the one calling the shots, I have the power. I manipulate, I control, I assert myself in pride. Yet this is exactly what Christ warns against, time and time again.  He calls us to surrender, to trust, yet I say No.  Trust is the lifeblood to faith.

Interestingly I call Galatians 2:20 my life verse, yet I've never even studied it.  "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me"

He loved me enough to give himself up for me. Since the foundations of the world he chose me for adoption (Eph 1), and was faithful even when I screwed it all up with my sin.  

He is sovereign, he is all-knowing, unconditionally loving, good, holy, just, forgiving, the renewer, omnipotent... and I think I know best??? Who do I think I am?

My old self, the controlling manipulating, prideful self has been crucified on the Cross and Christ dwells within me. I am not condemned but offered freedom through Christ.  If I am to live by faith, I need to trust.  I must surrender myself to the will and plans of the Lord, allowing him to call the shots. This should be a RELIEF. Praise the Lord, ultimate freedom. I do not need to feel the weight of that responsibility. Gods got it under control.

I only need to continually seek his will, and submit to his purposes.  He leads me...oh thats music to my ears. and The blessing is: He is GOOD.