Bring em in

I grew up in Suburbia. My church was the bling bling on the side of randall road. You look in the windows and there it is..37+ flat screen tv's, a cafe, pool, pinball, karaoke, wi's playstations, every teenagers dream. Next comes the childrens ministry windows, with our climbing area riddled with children scaling wood beams that the entire world can see. We were the suburban mega church.  I loved my church. We had been there forever, so seeing people we knew wasn't difficult, the messages were inspiring and biblically sound. and i was involved.

Living in Chicago this summer, I experienced a different feel than my suburb lifestyle and even MOody lifestyle. I decided to stay in the city, hoping to be a light in the secular world, but realized how discouragin and lost our world is.  Along with being mocked and ridiculed in sarcastic tones and even people taking advantage of me being the "nice girl", Christianity to them was exactly what my church was, rich and a feel good escape.

I was living in boys town, working in the heat of it. One day at work i got to experience the gay pride parade go right past our door. Images like this, and 10 times worse were walking in and out of my work. I wonder how suburbia would have treated that situation.  Those people I worked with were working at what I call a "high school" job, full-time, partying every night, enjoying every gossip that could be found.  Church was that condemning gropu of rich people who judged and said "burn, burn, burn".  Suburbia had life 'easy', but sheltered. On the day of the gay pride parade I almost lost my cool at the manager when he proceeded ot tell all the workers...and i quote, "according to Christy, all those sinners are going to burn in hell". I stood up for myself on that one. I did not nor would I say that. Yes, i disapprove of their actions but i love them, they were intricately created and knit together by the all-loving master craftsman. They may very well be going to hell, but I have no right to condemn them there, that is for GOd to judge, not me.

My default in life to sharing the Gospel has been, find a way to get them to church.. bring them in. My home church, plastered that idea in my mind. They built that huge student building for that purpose, to bring them in. It became a cop-out and I believe has become that way for many students in our generation. I will get them to church and let the pastor win them to Christ.  I'll do my part, and he can do the rest (with God's help of course).  Even today at lunch, a woman my parents knew had lunch with us and explained how her church wouldn't build a gym, because they wanted the people to go join a basketball league and be amongst the not yet believers, to dine with them, build relationship with them. My church, built the gym, the studnet center, the auditorium, as a "seeker-friendly" environment. Quite the opposite.

My approach this summer was wrong. I spent dozens of converstaions with one guy particular, trying to get him to come with me to church, when he just wanted to hang out..a perfeect opportunity for ME to share the Gospel. Yet in my own fear i felt the pastor should do it..i mean he's more trained than me...right?

My question is, what is our society, training up the next generation to do iwht our faith. Have we created thousands of students, that think the only way to "become a Christian" is by following me to church?  Did Jesus say in his great commission, to "COME in, and make disciples"...no, he told us to GO. The church is so important and there is a time where invitation is necessary, but has that become the excuse? oh, they won't come to church with me so I guess they won't ever be reached. Has church become our shield so we don't have to face quesitons we may not know, or rejection, or persecution?

Obedience to the call to make disciples isn't always easy, but the Lord challenges us to GO, and find them and be a light in darkness.

Jesus left the comfort of heaven to come down to an unfamiliar, sinful, pain filled world. He meets us right where we are at and loves us in the midst of our pain and hurt and sin.  Shouldn't we be doing to same?

The Connector

SO...

Tonight I had the opportunity to hear Francis Chan speak at Moody Bible Institute after working during the Legacy conference there. It blew my mind...

Why? :
       Because God tied a year's worth of wrestling and confusion into one, showing me the truth behind the small things that continuously bugged me and i experienced this year.

Summer: encouragement circle. Everyone said, "You are the epitome of a godly women" "Prayer warrior" "Truly a woman seeking the face of the Lord"...I cried. Not out of flattery, but out of pain...
     REACTION: confusion of why I felt hurt and frustrated.

Fall: Identity Crisis. Looking into the past and issues that have brought me to where I am now and growing from them and getting through them.
       REACTION: reason. Shined on true motives and underlying intentions in my actions. Is it pure love or is it selfish

Winter/Spring: Growth. The power of a vision.  The Lord lays ideas and burdens my heart for things and  with friends beside me we witnessed the power of God through prayer and fasting.
         REACTION: burden for the lost.  a reputation amongst the people around me. friendship.

Spring/Summer: Questioning. This is where my last blog coincides.  The idea of a hierarchy. It tore me up inside.  A fear was growing after the ministry. This expectation from the people around me, one that i didn't feel like i was living up to.
        REACTION: give up, toss in the towel, run from people and from God. Cover up my fear. Mask it all. Maintain the reputation

Summer: Loneliness & ministry.  What does it mean to bear fruit? Is it converts. No, it is a lifestyle of love as Pastor Aaron Youngren talked about in church last Sunday (ironically the one sunday I go to the Line Church), talks exactly on what i have been struggling with in bearing fruit in our lives today.
         REACTION: hope, but still a sense of fear and failure in the eyes of God.

Tonight: the message. I will just rewrite what i wrote in my journal tonight.
All these little things that I've been wrestling with & feeling the Lord really used Francis Chan's message tonight to speak to me. Rev. 3:1 was written to a church & says "I know your reputation for being alive but you are dead" I have been scared of dying for fear of this hierarchy of cities according to works. I have been wrestling with the concept of "bearing fruit" I read a biography on missionaries in Africa and grew aware of my jealousy for those who have the blessed ministry in the burbs..pastor's of a church, seeing growth, but yet the largest struggle is the broken car. I get caught up with reputation and what people see me as. At passion 2010 they challenged us to think not "what you want to be when you get older" but "who you will become". My 2 things were a woman of prayer and love. Well,  not that i am trying to live according to those ambitions..things have gotten a bit tougher than just becoming a leader in the church. I use godliness and Jesus as a mask to be desirable to the poeple around me.  I am giving to the Lord, but is it my first fruits or am I giving solely what others can see.  They see life, but God "searches me and knows me".  I feel not good enough, but is there reason behind that.  Is God convicting me that I am holding on to my sin, my pride, my mask? Am I madly in love wiht JESUS, or am I creating a mirage hoping that people see me over Him.  Some tough stuff right there.

I leave with this.
Rev. 2:4-5
 ⁴But I have this against you, that you have abandoned^(H) the love you had at first. ⁵Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do^(I) the works you did at first. If not,^(J) I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.


My response to this:
      1. Consider: Remember my first love, the love and intimacy I once have. Rekindle the flame of love
      2. Repent: Recognize the sin the has caused the abandonment and me to forget my first love
      3. Bear Fruit: Do the works I did at first: LOVE God, LOVE people. Live boldly, passionately, and fully in intimacy with Christ

DISC: whats yours

What does it mean to be a…?

D Personality (Choleric) Driven I Personality (Sanguine) Inspiring ·adventuresome ·aggressive ·arrogant ·authoritative ·blunt ·bold ·bossy ·brash ·bull-headed ·career-driven ·confident ·controlling ·crafty ·decisive ·determined ·disciplined ·doer ·dominates a group ·domineering ·driven ·effective ·emphatic ·fast ·firm ·focused ·hard ·harsh ·hostile ·hot-tempered ·impatient ·impetuous ·impulsive ·initiating ·insensitive ·intense ·intuitive ·manipulative ·opportunist ·optimistic ·outgoing ·over- bearing ·persuasive ·practical ·productive ·quick ·restless ·self-confident ·self-disciplined ·self-sufficient ·single-minded ·short-tempered ·strong- willed ·task-oriented ·temperamental ·tenacious ·thick-skinned ·unaffectionate ·unemotional ·bubbly ·carefree ·changeable ·charismatic ·charming ·childlike ·compassionate ·compromising ·conversation has a contagious quality that induces similar mood in hearers ·curious ·disorganized ·easily distracted ·easygoing ·emotional ·enjoys life ·enthusiastic ·exaggerates ·expressive ·extroverted ·eye for nature and art ·friendly ·impractical ·impulsive ·influencing ·insecure (masked by apparent self-confidence) ·insensitive ·inspiring ·lacks coherence in life because too “now” focused and too open to impressions ·lively ·loves being in the limelight ·natural magnetic grace ·optimistic ·outgoing ·people-centered ·persuasive ·popular ·positive ·responsive ·restless ·self-indulgent ·spontaneous ·superficial ·talkative ·tender ·undependable meeting deadlines ·undisciplined ·warm ·weak-willed C Personality (Melancholy) Analytical S Personality (Phlegmatic) Avoids conflict ·artistic ·calculating ·cheerless ·competent ·concise ·conscientious ·conservative ·consistent ·contemplation leads to paralysis ·controlling ·correct ·creative ·critical ·dependable ·depressed ·depressing ·detailed ·dissatisfied ·dissects self ·efficient ·faithful ·feels unapproved ·Follows rules ·hard to get along with ·idealistic ·impatient ·impossible to please ·impractical ·inflexible ·intolerant ·introverted ·intelligent ·investigative ·irritable ·knowledgeable ·loyal ·methodical ·moody ·negative ·opinionated ·organized ·overly self – critical ·perfectionist ·pessimistic ·precise ·proud ·quality centered ·reserved ·revengeful ·rigid ·sacrificial ·self-centered ·self-examining ·self-sacrificing ·self-torturous ·sensitive ·structured ·suspicious ·task-oriented ·theoretical ·thin-skinned ·traditional ·uncompromising ·unemotional ·not talkative ·values quality of life ·avoids risk ·calm ·cautious ·compromising ·consistent ·cool-headed ·cooperative ·dependable ·desires security ·diplomatic ·easily influenced ·efficient ·encourager ·faithful ·fearful ·flexible ·follows rules ·free-spirited ·good-natured ·indecisive ·kind ·lacks confidence ·lacks drive ·loyal ·naive ·needs affirmation ·non-confrontational ·not brittle under stress ·not easily aroused or disturbed ·passive ·patient ·peaceful ·people-oriented ·persistent ·placid ·planner ·practical ·protective ·puts down and limits feelings ·reserved ·self-protective ·sensitive ·shy ·sincere ·slow to change ·specialist ·stable ·steady ·stubborn regarding change ·submissive ·sweet ·team-oriented ·thoughtful ·timid ·unambitious ·unassertive

What does God Say About My Personality…?

D personalities need to learn to listen and not always speak their own opinions. James 1 :19 …Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak… D personalities need to be aware of their tendency to be angry. Proverbs 16:32 – Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. D personalities need to learn that love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are not options for a Christian. Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control… D personalities need to forgive others. Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. D personalities must place their faith in God and not in their own self-sufficiency. Mark 11:22 ‘…Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered. D personalities are generally successful because of their strong will and determination. I Corinthians 9:24-27 …Run in such a way to get the prize… D personalities are aggressive and display leadership qualities. Acts 17:4 And some of them were persuaded and joined Paul…		I personalities need to learn that there is a time to be still. Psalm 46:10 …be still and know that I am God. I personalities need to learn to listen to others. Proverbs 19:20 Listen to counsel… I personalities need to recognize the need for structure and organization. I Corinthians 14:40 Let all things be done properly and in an orderly manner. I personalities need to learn to be sensitive to feelings of others. Colossians 1:12 …put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. I personalities must work to have discipline in their lives. II Timothy 2:15 Study to present yourself approved to God… I personalities are bold in sharing their faith. Acts 4:20 …for we cannot stop speaking what we have seen and heard. I personalities look opportunities to help others. Galatians 6: 10 …let us do good to all men. I personalities do not waver between God’s call and immediate action once they understand it. Mark 1:17-18 ‘Follow Me’ ,…And they immediately left… I personalities do not find it hard to obey God’s command to assemble together. Hebrews 10:25 …not forsaking our own assembling together…
C personalities must recognize that much of has to be lived by faith. I Corinthians 12:12 …now I know in part… C personalities struggle with forgiving those who have wronged them. Ephesians 4:32 …forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. C personalities often allow their thinking to be negative and can allow this negative thinking to lead to depression. Philippians 4:8 …what ever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. C personalities need to guard against using words to criticize others. Proverbs 15:1  A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. C personalities do not struggle with being humble. C personalities set the example when it comes to having things done properly and in order. I Corinthians 14:40 But let all things be done properly and in an orderly manner. C personalities strive to keep doctrine pure and unadulterated. II Timothy 2:15 …handling accurately the word of truth to show thyself approved, rightly dividing the word. C personalities do not struggle with the command to correct wrongs when they are obvious. II Timothy 4:2 …reprove, rebuke, exhort with great patience.		S personalities use their soft, sensitive words to resolve conflict. Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath. S personalities stay loyal even when someone has failed them. Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times… S personalities are able to bring peace to unsettled situations by their words and attitude. Ephesians 1:2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. S personalities often lack confidence. Exodus 4:1  What if they will not believe me, or listen to what I say? S personalities must learn not everyone is sincere and truthful. Ephesians 4:6 Let no one deceive you with empty words… S personalities need to have confidence in the gifts God has given them. Romans 12:3 …God has allotted to each a measure of faith. S personalities shy away from responsibilities that require exposure of wrong/harsh action. Ephesians 4:11 …do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them.

How does my personality affect my thinking?

D Personality (Choleric) D’s are known for their keen, quick minds. They use their sharp and highly intuitive perceptions of people and situations to “know” what needs to be done; they then focus themselves and others on the ideal kind of action that gets things done. As realists who are relatively practical, D’s may only think deep and long enough to create a workable plan without much concern for underlying theory. Thus, their thinking can be crafty, driven, and purposeful, but also lack calm foresight, imagination, and sufficient planning. D’s can be commonplace, humdrum, tiresome, dull, unimaginative, and boring in their thinking, and often find it hard to develop an inner life of meaningful reflection.

I Personality (Sanguine) I’s are awakened by and responsive to exciting and thrilling experiences. Their responses in life are direct and not particularly reflective or planned. I’s tend to process their thoughts aloud and spontaneously, without organizing them in advance. Their thinking may come across to some other personalities as unclear, illogical, inconsistent, confused, and superficial. However, because they are always looking for “the new,” they can often appreciate completely different approaches to dull things, and speak of the ordinary in very charming ways. I’s need to learn the thinking arts of reflection and self-examination to combat their tendency to distraction, tangents, and shallowness.

C Personality (Melancholy) C’s have the most complex layered mental abilities of the four personalities. They want to get to the bottom of everything, and their thinking is deep, thorough, and reflective. C’s will never be accused of being superficial or phony, but this has down sides. Their strong imagination tends to lead to romanticism, their analysis can lead to being judgmental, and their ordering can lead to perfectionism. Their tendency for idealism and perfectionism can lead to frequent disillusionment, which may fuel serious doubts and a desire to remove themselves even more from the real world through daydreaming. Still, C’s are highly creative and sharply stimulating; their thoughts are well considered, expressed with originality, and they are highly conscientious.

S Personality (Phlegmatic) S’s tend to have a calm, clear intellect that is unclouded because of their generally unemotional nature. This tends to give them a good range of intellectual ability, although it may not be as deep or insightful as that of some other personalities. S’s are often able to put to practical use the brilliant ideas of others. They have a no-nonsense, practical mind, which is less prone to “wishful thinking.” However, they drift too easily into rationalism, and also tend to modify their ideals until they are workable.

How does my Personality affect my emotions & how I control them?

D Personality (Choleric) When it comes to emotions, D’s are noted for being quick-tempered, abrupt, and hard. They are the most likely of the personalities to react in anger. Not only is their emotional nature unemotional, they have no use for sensitivity and can be unfeeling. This means they do not sympathize well with others’ pain or grief. They may appear very thick-skinned, and do not comprehend what is tender, delicate, and fragile in life. It can be difficult to interest D’s in religion, as they see it as mere emotionalism.

I Personality (Sanguine) Intense but inconsistent feelings predominate in the world of I’s. They are very sensitive and have a rich, broad-ranged emotional life. Their emotions are easily stirred by impressions from the outside world – either in constructive or destructive directions – and their typical overreactions often lead to “a mood.” But emotions are fleeting, and I’s frequently experience quick reversals of feeling. They may go from sulking to elation. This emotionality affects their involvement in causes, by which they are easily and intensely interested… for the moment. In expressing their feelings, I’s tend to be talkative, extreme, vivid, and emphatic.

C Personality (Melancholy) Feelings predominate C’s, giving them a rich, sensitive nature (often over- sensitive, easily crushed). Ironically, C’s typically feel more than they can express. For instance, C’s are not quick-tempered, but can erupt in pent-up anger. Sadly, they are pessimistic, moody, and preoccupied with their own emotional pain. C’s constantly dissect themselves, and see little in their worlds that is encouraging. Impressions of self can dig and bury deeply and work actively in their imaginations, leading to depression – as when promises they break or errors they make may distress them for a long time or even a lifetime!

S Personality (Phlegmatic) S’s are frequently described as dependable, tranquil and cool. They maintain their inner emotional balance and come across as easy-going and levelheaded in all situations. Because S’s are clear-minded and levelheaded, they do not become restless or annoyed by imperfection. They are not caught off guard, not tense, and not into reform and change. They have the strength and presence of mind to assess risky situations calmly, consider the possibilities, and choose the best way out. But for all the potentially positive dimensions of those character qualities, on the downside, S’s are also sometimes empty-hearted, dispassionate and indifferent.

How does my Personality affect my will and my self-discipline?

D Personality (Choleric) For D’s, will is the controlling factor. Life consists of action and work as a show of their urge toward self-determination and a response to external factors. (D’s also like making decisions for others.) They possess strong will power, a sharp mind, focus, and stamina which helps their actions be quick, bold, and decisive, though perhaps hasty and impulsive. D’s are not dismayed by barriers or adversities, but see oppositions as challenges that spur them on in their adventures. They are risk-takers, avoiding the safe and everyday, and drawn to the hazardous and unknown. D’s often are active, but unreflective, unyielding, but over the edge, persistent but practical, fiery but foolhardy.

I Personality (Sanguine) When it comes to self-discipline, I’s have good hearts but undependable follow-through. Their will is not particularly stirred, and so their actions are unpredictable and inconsistent, even if they show initiative in new ideas or projects. I’s may prove spontaneous and surprising, but are also shallow, forgetful, and distracted. They may even invent excuses for why they “could not” (actually, “did not”) carry out their obligations. They may be the Personality most likely to enjoy life, but also to leave this world with a trail of unaccomplished goals. The bottom line: They have good intentions in their promising, but are unreliable in deciding, and weak-willed in persevering.

C Personality (Melancholy) Making decisions and engaging in calculated risks are not strong points for C’s, in part due to their passive nature. Also, their capacity for endless analysis of every possible angle and consequence paralyzes them. The more possible outcomes C’s find, the more difficult it is for them to decide. They finally act only when they must, and then with ongoing doubts and small measures of boldness. C’s are also relatively self-disciplined and know their limitations. They would rather commit to fewer and safer things, and finish what they undertake than make promises they know they can’t keep. Though they are not risk-takers, C’s are self-sacrificers and dependable servants.

S Personality (Phlegmatic) Decision-making and self-discipline are problems for S’s. They are often slow, sluggish, and easygoing. Because they don’t like inconvenience, they are unwilling to exert themselves or be in a hurry. They do consider issues before acting, but still find it hard to overcome their inertia and tendency to procrastinate. Once S’s get moving, they can lay out good plans, efficiently execute them, and prove themselves dependable in follow-through. More often, though, they are calm spectators who are not swayed by emotion. They take the easiest ways instead of being farsighted, and stagnate instead of persevere. S’s can be so practical they compromise their standards when convenient.

How does my Personality affect how I relate to other people?

D Personality (Choleric) Relationships can be a problem for D’s, who often act out their Personality in self-centered ways that show disrespect and lack of consideration for others. D’s are seen as overly self-confident, proud, and haughty. Although they can be good leaders, they can also be domineering in relationships, lack patience with people, and not appreciate the abilities in others. D’s often lack compassion for those who are suffering, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They also use their good judgment of human nature to gain information for their own advantage. Because they see people as tools for their plans, they may be clever, manipulative, and show false concern to get their way. D’s consider apologizing as perhaps the ultimate humiliation; thus, committing to apologizing consistently can help conquer their relational weaknesses.

I Personality (Sanguine) Overall, I’s have the ability to establish heartwarming relationships with a wide range of people. They are warm, cheerful, and extravagant in relating. They accept people as they are, and aren’t bothered by whether people meet certain standards or not. An I’s receptive spirit helps them adjust to others and be genuinely interested in hearing their concerns. They do not disturb others’ happiness with skepticism, criticism, or ridicule, but instead enter into their feelings and thoughts. I’s are tender, sympathetic, and comforting. They are unlikely to become calloused toward people, and will consistently rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. However, they also function by “out of sight, out of mind.” This makes them unreliable, and easily charmed. Fortunately, of the four personalities, I’s can humble themselves and apologize the most easily.

S Personality (Phlegmatic) S’s exercise a stabilizing influence in relationships, even in the midst of disturbing circumstances. They are evenly balanced, calm, and seldom stirred up. They are neither quick-tempered nor in a fuss about “stuff.” S’s are good-natured, easy to get along with, pleasant, cheerful, comfortable, and witty. But they can be apathetic, blasé, not cordial or demonstrative, to the point of being indifferent about others. S’s often study people but have little interest in them, except when their opportunist tendencies see something on which they can capitalize. Otherwise, they can be disinterested spectators who seem apathetic. Their presence has a softening, conciliating effect upon others, and their love of peace and harmony gives them a base for relating with many different kinds of people successfully, and even bringing a unifying presence to groups.

C Personality (Melancholy) C’s have significant problems in relating. They do not make many friends, but those they make, they keep by being faithful, loyal, and dependable. They consider promises a point of honor to keep. However, C’s are hard to get along with or touch, and they are proud. Their sharp ability to analyze lets them see faults in others clearly, and they become critical and judgmental. But their self-centeredness focuses them on how things affect them, not how they affect others. So they cannot analyze their own faults. Their romantic search for the ideal leads them to be uncompromising, disappointed, and self-protective. C’s are easily hurt, suspicious, distant, and not joyful. They may have a persecution complex. They tend to daydream and harbor grudges, which can increase to unbearable proportions. C’s may be the most likely Personality to create disharmony, and to blame, whine, and complain.

How does my Personality affect my leadership roles?

D Personality (Choleric) D’s love to lead and will often volunteer to do so. Ironically, D’s want an environment of freedom and of control so they can do what they want. Their action-orientation does not mean their plans are any better than those developed by other personalities, but their aggressive, firm and consistent nature pushes their plans through. The leadership/authority style of D’s tend to be energetic, impulsive, self-confident, reckless, forceful, crafty, achievement-minded, dictatorial, and bossy. D’s bring goal-orientation and action to a group; they can also bring an opportunistic end-justifies-the-means mentality, and a stubborn spirit.

C Personality (Melancholy) Primarily passive, C’s would rather be followers, not leaders. Still, they display helpful leadership qualities, such as their self-denial and service, uncompromising nature, and willingness to work behind the scenes. C’s effectively analyze plans for their strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, this can make it appear they are against projects. But an ability to judge well does not necessarily mean one is judgmental. C’s are prone to be negative, in part because they truly can anticipate upcoming and approaching flaws in plans and actions. They battle disappointment over outcomes that do not match promises. C’s know their limitations and rarely take on more than they should/could do.

I Personality (Sanguine) Ironically, I’s enjoy being free and unrestrained, while at the same time they are controlled and driven by external forces. I’s embrace freedom, and are not governed by rules and regulations. They are easily molded by their environment. I’s are also susceptible to “conning” themselves and others into following a path where the end justifies the means.

S Personality (Phlegmatic) S’s generally won’t take leadership upon themselves. They are, however, quite capable when called into a leadership role. S’s value freedom, yet, ironically, stubbornly oppose change and can control situations by dragging their feet or even damaging a project when they don’t really want to participate in it. When forced into the activities of others that turn out poorly, this fuels a deeper resistance to future activities. S’s do not start projects. They are too much work for their laid-back disposition. S’s are especially subject to compromising their ideals.

How does my Personality affect my communication style?

D Personality (Choleric) D’s may be extroverted, but that does not mean they communicate clearly or kindly with people. D’s are often known for finding it difficult to apologize or show approval, and often for communicating disapproval. They can speak in ways that are blunt and sarcastic, cutting stinging, unaffectionate and harsh. D’s are so driven by their own goals that they tend not to focus on others or listen to what they are saying. They don’t care if people disagree with them, they’ll do what they want to anyway. Their communication is direct and to the point. Others generally know what they think about a subject or another person. They are extremely good at communicating goals and direction for themselves and others.

I Personality (Sanguine) I’s are sociable; words come easily to them. They process their thoughts aloud in a stream that does not include much thinking before they speak. Their style can be noisy, boasting and friendly, impressive, direct, and fascinating. They draw people in, but dominate discussions with topics of personal interest. Still, their conversation is contagious, and it creates similar moods in the listener. I’s speak charmingly about everyday things, and are dramatic and colorful storytellers because of their emotional nature. I’s are restless, making it hard to concentrate on listening to others. But they do apologize readily.

C Personality (Melancholy) C’s generally have opinions (and are often well-informed) about many topics and issues, but they generally withhold them from a conversation unless asked directly what they think. They are accurate and detailed, and tend to dislike exaggeration and ill-advised words. C’s often are suspicious and depressing, which does not endear them to others in conversation. Others find it extremely easy to follow their directions because they are patient when communicating details. They do not communicate words they do not mean. What they say is what they mean. There are no hidden motives in their communication.

S Personality (Phlegmatic) S’s rate very different evaluations on their communication style. On the one hand, they are said to sometimes have an easygoing manner that makes it easy for them to listen to others, and that they can be quite counselor-oriented. On the other hand, they have been noted for their hesitation to become involved with others. They communicate in a calm and peaceful tone and do not generate lots of excitement for those listening. They bring harmony through their words and tend to use words that are not strongly positive or negative. They rarely communicate their disapproval of others. Even when they do, it may be difficult to detect.

How does my Personality affect how I act when I’m offended?

D Personality (Choleric) D’s are known for being revengeful. They do not easily forgive or forget an insult or an injury. Instead, they allow these to encourage them into future actions where they repay people for what they perceive as injustices or wrongs committed against them. D’s tend to be bitter, wrathful, and angry, which, along with the other elements in their response to offenses, makes them ulcer-prone.

I Personality (Sanguine) In general, I’s forget the past easily and live in the present. Therefore they tend to quickly forget offenses against them and move on.

C Personality (Melancholy) C’s are revengeful. In many ways, they live in the past, and find it difficult to forget any kind of insult or offense. Their unforgiving spirit serves to compound the impact of the offense and push it into the future; reflecting on the hurt drives it deeper as the slow-burner on their emotions makes them prone to boil with resentment inside. They carry grudges, and become bitter and prejudiced against people because of unforgiveness.

S Personality (Phlegmatic) S’s wave off offenses as irrelevant, and so do not take offense as easily as other personalities. They live more in the present, not the past, and so do not carry grudges when they have felt offended. They are peace loving, have a high boiling point, and seldom explode in anger. However, when they do explode it is in a cold and vengeful manner.

Moody Revival Part 2

Oh my, I put this off so much...not sure why.
Well, here it goes..

So after we each committed to finding 2 people a day to join with us, we were pumped and right away things got moving.  All of us were sharing and the vision grew and people joined with us, not just fasting once throughout the 40 days but once a week, twice a week, for extended periods etc. It was so encouraging. Just a week following began Founders week at our school, a time when we go to Moody Church and listen to incredible pastors, evangelists, ministry founders, etc share their hearts with us.  It was so encouraging... in many ways..

On Wednesday I believe, during the night, a man named Mark Jobe spoke.  His passion was contagious and at the very beginning said to us. "I pray a lot before I speak, asking that what I say wouldn't be just an encouraging message, but a prophetic word from the Lord".  Well, what Mark Jobe spoke on was Holy Hunger, fasting and waiting upon the LOrd.  Our ministry, our passion, was spoken to that entire group.  Not only this but he gave us a challenge. This challenge was to fast for an extended time during the next 21 days.  Those who took the challenge stood and as I watched this happen (via TV cuz i was working at the coffee shop that night) I was literally going "omgosh omgosh, Lord, you are so much bigger than me, omgosh".  Now, it was out of our hands.  Throw away the list, 80 people pssshhh at least that many stood up...much more..but it was incredible! I was speechless and could say nothign but praise the Lord for his work.

The next morning was no different.  A woman named Nancy Leigh Demoss got up and spoke on devotions and being faithful in reading the Word and prayer.  Honestly, the message wasn't incredible, but what impacted me and the others was the challenge.  At the end she said, I challenge you, in partner with Mark Jobe's fasting, to commit to 30 days of prayer and dedication to faithful devotions.  This wouldn't have been huge except that, our 40 days of prayer and fasting had exactly 30 days left. Just another way God affirmed what we were doing.

Every Sunday night we met together, and consistently 35 people were there.  It was truly beautiful to watch conservative, more traditional Moody students literally crying out to the Lord, on their knees begging him on behalf of the studnets to rain down on us, revive our hearts, spare the city, heal this land 2 Chron. 7:14.

Things continued to be pushed forward and 80 people came no problem.  There were many studnets even ones we didn't recognize fasting and praying all over campus, committing Joel 2:12-17 to the Lord.

Honestly about 3/4 of the way through, things got tough.  Our progress felt like a rollercoaster.  We had some highs and lows, but we pressed forward even on those days we really didn't feel like fasting and those mornings we really didn't want to get up and pray.  There were even a bunch of students that began to meet every night and pray for revival.  It was so encouraging.  One of the greatest blessings was watching all these random small prayer groups that had been meeting together unbeknownst to us, join in.  A revival prayer student group, then a floor, then a small group, then another group praying for revival, then freshman stu co. We just joined together as one body, our purpose to begin with.

As the last weeks arrived things began to get intense.  Myself and a few others were in charge of planning the final week which was insane.  Friday was a prayer vigil (stu co led this thank the Lord), Sat was service in the city, sunday was the prayer night, monday at midnight right after the prayer meeting, Culby 2 chapel was transformed into a new room, with sections for different prayer topics, for 24 hour prayer for the next four days, then came the worship night on thursday night with Jamie Kay and thursday night praise.  Along with this, I was doing a longer fast and midterms, which just added to the chaotic ness.

In the end, the people that helped were incredible! I was so blessed ot have people really step up and be faithful in doing all they could. The 24 hour prayer was great. I will probably never know if everyone stayed commited to their time slots, but the room looked incredible and really added to the atmosphere of worship in my opinion.

Then the worship night on thursday. Honestly there was so much chaos that went on before.  Rooming issues, miscommunications, lots of planning, and utilizing funds from different groups, it was just unexpected.  What resulted though, was fantastic.  By thursday morning we were still looking for the speakers for each prayer point, but by golly the speakers were amazing.  Each one presented their point beautifully and just said exactly what needed to be said.  Our focus was on 4 things: Repentance, Surrender, Holy Hunger, Faith/Expectancy.  Each one was done differently and there was worship in between.  The spirit was so evident and people were challenged and brought to their knees.  I had no idea how many would come.  We publicized, but it was midterms, and honestly, for all that moody is and does, people can get relaly caught up with the academic part of it.

Other people can tell you all the ways the spirit moved in their hearts that night, but there was one main thing that will stick with me forever.  I had so many comments of people after saying how the Spirit had spoke to them, that it was so encouraging, that it was so effective, but for me, the Spirit spoke to me someway diffferent. Each pereson I talked to knows exactly how.

At the very beginning of our journey, when we cast our vision, it was for 40 days, 80 people joined with us, unified as one body.  We exceeded that, for God's glory, by his grace.  Jamie Kay told us after that she has done many concerts of prayer and when it is Moody alone, we rarely get many to come out, but that night, we had 80 people.  80 people came for this prayer.  It hit me like a semi truck. OF COURSE we would have 80 people come.  Why did I stress that 0 would show (one of my lack of faith things)?  We asked the Lord for 80 and that is what he provided.  What a blessing this was.  To me, this is how the Lord revealed himself in my life.

No, no Spirit go crazy impact the world happened, but let me say this.  Many hearts were revived to the Lord throughout these past weeks.  Many people have been humbled and drawn into God's arms once again. Many people have been brought back to the heart of worship and the rememberance of why we are there at Moody.
Not only this, but those 7+, probably around 15 of us are a family.  I know what the church looks like.  We are the body of Christ, all putting 100% in and willing to sacrifice for one another.  We have different friend groups, different activities, but we would give up anything for each other and had the same fixation on Christ.  We were serving one God, with one task, and in one Spirit.  I think of the tower of babel when the Lord looks at them and says, nothign will be impossible for them when they all come together.  I think of Nehemiah when they rebuild the walls in 52 days. Nothing is impossible for the Lord's people if they come together with a purpose, a strategy, and with the green light from God.  Praise the Lord for that.

I have learned so much and I can't wait for what is next.  So many have come to me and said, Christy, Im in this for the Long Haul.  Where God leads this ministry, I am going with it.
Praise God.
Moody Revival 2010

more4moody.typepad.com

Old Writing: Eyes on HIm

Eyes on Him
“Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith” Hebrews 12:1-2

This morning I went for a run outside of Port. It had been awhile; a long while. My legs were out of shape, my body not fully prepared, but my heart and mind ready for the task that lie ahead. I knew the goal. Coronado; a 15 minute jog from the school. Not an unreasonable goalm but for one who is out of shape; like myself, an undertaking. On certain days when the sky is clear, the tip of the cathedral in Coronado is able to be seen. On those days, I make the greatest progress. It’s a compelling goal, with my eyes set on the prize. Some days though, like today, something is corrupting my view. One time it will be rain or clouds, other times, like today, it was the sun. During these days the run is arduous. My eyes are focused downward to avoid the sun and I watch the sun so that I won’t fall. The goal is forgotten. Even my thoughts are against me. Inwardly, my mind after just a few minutes, is debating whether my body is up for the task.
As long as we can see our goal in sight, there is no run we can’t achieve. But take away the vision, block the cathedral and the result is as discouraging as the journey. Why continue if there is no relief in sight. We are what we see and if we only see ourselves, we are screwed. Luckily, humans were never meant to be kept from seein the goal. God has every intention to being the clearly seen cathedral in Coronado. He came near to us purposely to be seen. That is why the journey is so different when we have the clear view. Those who see him are never the same. His glory, his majesty, his beauty, gives us the strength to never stop until we reach him. Seeing Jesus is what Christianity is all about and this is why those who see him today are never the same. Its not possible to give up.

Old Writing: Ray of hope

La Cumbre-my ray of warmth
“The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech, night after night they display knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words, yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the end of the world. In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun, which is like a bridegroom coming out from his chamber, like a champion rejoicing to run its course. It rises at one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other, nothing is deprived of its warmth.” Psalm 19:1-6

As I sit here reflecting on life, God, and how tired I am in the upper room of the hotel at la cumber, I feel cold. But there is hope, the moon has gone and the sun, though unseen, is lighting the skies. I sit here saying God what is it you want to say to me and teach me. Show me. When nothing significant comes to mind, I begin to bundle up with my blanket and drift off, feeling somewhat desolate and unsatisfied. Just as my mind begins to blur, I feel a sensation small at first, then gradually progressing into full on warmth and light. My life gets cold sometimes, whether I feel alone, whether I am just not growing, or im living in sin. I just sit with a blanket or nothing at all sulking in despair, wishing for something to just warm my nose. Then, after desiring and waiting, that ray comes and how glorious it feels. How perfect, how important, how joyful it is. Even after hard times in my life, God is that ray of hope. He is going to be there, he is just preparing me. That sounds strange but I believe hard times come for our sake. God wants us to realize how amazing his warmth and his light are. He wants us to rejoice when we see the sun peek out from above the mountains. The question is though, where am I? Am I in a room of windows eagerly searching, and patiently waiting for the light to come? Or am I hiding in a closed room feeling sorry for the situation I’m facing. God is there, he is faithful, just as the sun faithfully makes its way across the sky each morning. Are you prepared for what God is saying to you. Are you listening, and watching, and waiting? No worries, he is there. “Nothing is deprived of his warmth"

Old Writing: Voice of God

So, a few things have randomly lined up interestingly in my Bible reading.
1. I am reading the Psalms
2. I am reviewing the Semp manual
3. I just took a class on 1 Kings

I started reading through the Semp manual, and as a part of revising it, I am also doing it myself. The theme this summer is wired for sound. Last night as I was reading through the first day, we studied the passage of Isaiah 55. I had never really read through it and its focus was on listening to God. Are you hearing what God is saying to you. It then makes you take a more indepth look at verses 1 to 3 in which i found this part
0"Come, all you who are thristy, come to the waters"
I immediately remembered Psalm 23 which i had read just a few days before which says something similar
in vs 2
"He leads me besides quiet waters and restores my soul"

THEN i remembered also the story of Elijah and his experience in listening to the voice of GOd. He was out on the mountain waiting for the Lord to pass by and he witnessed a great and powerful wind, an earthquake, and finally a fire, but the Lord wasnt in any of those. Then it says in 1Kings 19
"an after the fire came a gentle whisper" this is where the Lord was.

As I meditated upon those veres I realzied their common traits. Quiet waters, gentle whispers, water. They are all places of solitute, silence, openness. So often we find ourselves lost in the busyness of life, complaining that we haven´t heard God´s voice speak to us. God is there...he´s talking... but we can´t hear him over the noise of life. It is in the quiet we hear the Lord.

Well, then today i read this in Psalm 29
"The voice of the Lord is over the waters. The God of glory thunders, the Lord thunders over the mighty waters. THe voice of the Lord is powerful, the voice of the Lord is majestic. The voice of the Lord breaks the cedarsñ the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon...The voice of the Lord strikes with flashes of lightning, the voice of the Lord shakes the desert, The Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh. The voice of the Lord twists the oaks, and strips the forest bare"

So this got me confused, really confused. I thought the Lord was in the quiet the lord was the whisper in the wind. But here it describes the strength the fire, earthquake, and powerful wind had, yet God wasnt in. Im still a bit confused about this whole idea, but this is my take on it currently..

I think God draws us to the waters to show us his thundering voice. His voice is majestic and powerful and oh so important, but we dont take the time to seek it to draw close to him because when we do, we will see what David did. That the voice of the Lord is HUGE. Its sad to think that even through flashes of lightning and shaking deserts, that we can still miss and be distracted from the voice of God. Our focus is so off. We spend our time worrying, or planning, or talking, when if we just would listen, he would guide us.

My challenge to you this week, if your readin this, is to take a half an hour to yourself and let the lord lead you beside quiet waters to restore your soul. Let him show you his majestic and powerful voice. Open your heart to what he has to say. Come, listen and live

Isaiah 55-3
"Give ear and come to me, listen that you may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David"

I....

(idea taken from Kailin Bennett)

I am: a woman, passionate, a leader, passive, an introvert, people-lover, God-fearing, a friend, a sister, a daughter
I think: about the future, about God, about the past
I know: that I want to serve God all my life, that without him I am lost, that I'm still learning
I have: family, friends, a home, a great school, a wonderful job, and an incredible God
I wish: Christ in all his glory would come: no more tears, no more pain, no more hunger, no more sickness

I hate: the cold, feeling guilty, being rejected
I miss: family, comfort, climbing trees, summer, Costa Rica
I feel: burdened, shameful
I crave: summer nights, sleep, love, grace, intimacy
I wonder: what my life will be like, what legacy i will leave, who I will marry (if)
I pray: for a contrite heart, that I would fear the Lord, for my friends, through Eph. 3:16-19, for revival, aloud
I regret: caring what people think, being gluttonous
I love: a hot cup of coffee, the Bible, and a warm summer sunrise (all combined), stars, friends, popcorn, rest

I always: overanalyze, make my bed
I care: about my family, about Christ, for the not-yet believers, and people
I am not: an extravert, shy,
I believe: in Christ alone
I dance: in my car, in my bedroom, while im running,
I sing: by myself, in chapel
I laugh: for real just sometimes, i wish i laughed more
I cry: at almost all movies, in worship and prayer,
I don’t always: think before speaking, prioritize my time well, speak humbly
I write: letters,thoughts, journals, notes
I lose: everything
I never: quite understand, make fast decisions, have enough time
I listen: to rascal flatts, to authority, to friends, to Christ
I can usually be found: at Joes, or in Stacy and Justines room
I am scared: that I'm not enough
I need: Jesus
I can’t wait: for Him to take my hand and walk me through the pearly gates

Waiting upon the Lord

*How would you like to learn to live triumphantly above fear and anxiety?

*How would you like to learn to truly enjoy life?

*How would you like to be free to experience and express true love and to triumph over being critical and judgmental?

The secrets of these blessings unfold as one learns to wait on God. The truth of "waiting" is found throughout the Bible. We can observe the following descriptions of waiting on the Lord:

*wait continually (Hosea 12:6)

*wait silently (Lamentations 3:26; Ps. 62:1,5)

*wait patiently (Ps. 40:1)

*wait eagerly (Isaiah 26:8)

Mary was commended not because she was idle while Martha worked. Actually Mary was "waiting" on the Lord as she listened to His Word. Her life is an illustration of what it means to abide in the Lord. She was listening to Him and willing to do anything He desired. Waiting does not necessarily mean inactivity, but it does mean a life of obedient faith.

The spirit of Mary who chose the "good part" opens one up to see the needs of others and cooperate with God in His loving plan. This waiting on the Lord is also the attitude of prayer.

As we abide in the Lord we can do an eternal work even in the midst of the routine of life. We are able to accomplish nothing of eternal value apart from the enablement of Christ (John 15:5).

The benefits of "waiting" are quite numerous. These are some that the Bible mentions:

*Freedom from shame (Ps. 25:3)

*Courage (Ps. 27:14)

*Strength (Is. 40:31)

*God's promises (Ps. 37:9)

*Deliverance from the bitter fruit of self-effort (Ps. 106:13-15; Is 30:15-18)

*Vindication (Prov. 20:22)

*God's favor (Ps. 147:11)

*God's salvation (Lam. 3:26)

*God's support (Is. 64:4)

ALL this was taken directly from

A Journey to Victorious Praying by Bill Thrasher

God's Favor

Man, God is great.

Isn't that just a phrase at which we can sigh at relief. phew!

God is good to us.

The one who made this world, who made us, is good to us.  Does he have to be. No!

I think sometimes I just assume God has to be good to us. It is in his nature.  But he doesn't have to be.  First of all, he could have been an evil God, but he is not.  Second of all, I rebelled, so he could have stayed mad and angry, but he didn't.  Third,  he not only forgives, but he puts his favor on me for reasons i have NO idea.

Why me?  What did I do to deserve such favor before God? -nothing. That is the clincher.  God is just so good. Let me tell you why.

Yesterday my phone screen shattered. Yes, completely my fault, but in God's graciousness, the man fixed the 220$ problem for free.  Praise God.  Back up an hour or so walking to the store, God and i were having a little chat.  I knew it was my fault.  I had dropped the phone. I had been careless with something valuable. I deserved to pay the price for the phone.  But I gave it to God and said, "God i know I deserve this consequence.  I deserve to pay for this phone, but if for some reason, or somehow it is free, whatever the cost is for that phone will be yours.  I want to give you that money. I will not be dishonest in doing so though"  After talking with the mac genius, it was set. I owed 219.40 for the phone and he asked if there was any damage to the data or phone any internal problems. There wasn't and I responded likewise.  But then a look came in his eyes and he looked at me and pointed at the phone and said oooh, you see this crack?? I looked and said umm, no i don't.  Well, he continued, showed his friend, and his friend winked at me and said oh i see it don't you.  I really didn't and wasn't about to lie to get a free phone.  But then he flat out and said it. Well, there is a tiny crack beginning to form, which I can account to internal damage even though it hasn't begun or something of the sorts.  Ultimately, he told me by the end, there isn't anything wrong, but I'm going to give you grace.  From that point I was able to tell him about my prayer to God and giving the money to someone and brighten his day, knowing that he would be also the reason for someone benefiting from that money.  He was a Christian too.  Praise God for him, and Praise God for his grace.  Just a big way he showed his love today.

Not to mention, 40 day chain of fasting began today :)! Praise God.  I got to recruit 2 more people to jump on board with us as well. Praise God again.  I did well on all my quizzes.  Praise God.  I'm feeling better. Praise God.  Finally got to work things out with a friend that had a lingering confusion. PRAISE God.  Man, what a blessing today has been.  God you are so gracious and merciful to me.  You lavish your love on me and why? I have no idea.  Why me?  I have done nothing spectacular. I have no special talents, but yet you just pour out yourself to me! praise your

Why

Why
Such a small word, with such a deep meaning.
*Why is the sky blue
*Why am I here?
*Why does this school have curfew?

I go to God almost everyday with the question of Why.  Today is no different.
Why God?  What do you have up your sleeve?  I don't know something that I want to know.  In my finite brain, I can't comprehend, or see, or distinguish what is happening, or *why* it is happening.

"All things work together for good for those who love him, for those who are called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

I like how God says in Jeremiah 29. I know. He doesn't say, you know the plans i have for you.  He is calling us to trust him.  Trust him with our future.  Trust him with our doubts.  Trust him even when we just don't understand.

"See I have refined you though not as silver.  I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.  For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned?  My glory I will not give to another" Isaiah 48:10-11

There are so many things I like about Isaiah 48:10-11.

First, tried you in the furnace of affliction.  That ain't small stuff.  We are talking about a blazing fire.  Now I'm pretty sure that is no small trial.  God is refining me in the blazing freaking furnace.  I think of Shadrach, meshach, and abednego in the furnace where even the guys throwing them in died because it was so hot.  God is refining me, but it isn't easy.  He has cranked the heat up so that I NEED him!

Second, The fact that it repeats "for my own sake, for my own sake" Obviously this is a message God wants to get across.  I imagine him speaking this to me and saying it once, but then looking me in the eye, turning my head, and saying "Christy" before he says it.  He wants me to know it is for him.  Seems selfish yea?  My very first thought process said.  "Wait, so i have to go through the flames for God's sake...uhhh...thanks God"  No Way!!! He wants us to magnify him, because when we magnify him our joy is made complete.  He is emphasizing this out of love.  God wants us to know that he will not be defamed.

Third, for the sake of his elect, he will not allow us to yield the glory he deserves to another.  He wants the control.  Honestly, he is the only one that deserves it.  When he sees us give glory to another, he is jealous.  He deserves our glory AND he knows that its only when we are glorifying him that we are satisfied.  The nation to which this passage refers, would not become pure as silver, but they would still be tested and refined and the Lord is constantly doing that to us.

Who would ever like going through fire.  No one.  But we must be refined.  I must be refined.  I too often yield the glory to another.  I focus on something other than God and Christ.  And God looks at that and turns me head and says

"Christy, I will NOT let my name be defamed".  I want to be number one.  Not anyone else or anything else.  "Christy, in my you will be satisfied. Find that in me.  Come to me you who are weary and I will give you rest.  Fixate your eyes on me, the author and perfector of your faith. I know the plans I have for you Christy, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  I knew you and loved you before the foundation of the world.  Cast your cares on me, and I will care for you.  Draw near to me and I will draw near to you.  Trust in my unfailing love.  I will never leave you nor forsake you.  I have chosen you Christy. I demonstrated that in while you were still a sinner, I died for you.  I love you.  Trust me.  Put me on top.  Give me the glory.  Let me refine you.  Rejoice in you affliction, for what results is beautiful"

I surrender All

Pastor Judy, the speaker at Deep Freeze (January 15-17, 2010) told us a story about a little girl who fell in love with these cheap, plastic pearls at the grocery store…

The little girl went grocery shopping with her mom and as they were checking out, she saw these pink pearls in the check-out aisle. When she saw these plastic pearls, she KNEW she had to have them. The little girl begged her mom, “please mommy, oh please can I get these pink pearls?” The mom reminded her daughter that they had just come to the grocery store to buy groceries and nothing else. The little girl kept begging and her mom came up with a deal. Her mom said, “How about you save up your money and when you have enough, I will bring you back to the store so you can buy those pink pearls”. The little girl was so excited, she immediately went to her piggy bank when she got home and found just enough money for those, in her eyes, beautiful, pink pearls. She ran up to her mom, begging to go back to the store to buy her necklace. As the mom promised, the two of them went back to the store.

The little girl was so excited when she bought her pearls. To her, they were everything. They were pink. They were HER pearls. They were beautiful!

Every night, her father comes in to read her a bed time story and tuck her in. One night the father asked his daughter, “How much do you love me?”

“Oh daddy, I love you so much.”

“If you love me, will you give me your pearls?”

“Oh daddy, you know I love you, but these pearls are so special to me”.

“That’s okay. I love you.”

The next night, the father asked the same thing…and got the same response.
The night after that, he came to tuck his little girl in and found her sitting at the edge of her bed crying.

“Oh d-d-daddy, you know I love you so much…H-here, you can have my pearls. Because I love you”.

The little girl’s father took the cheap, plastic, pink pearls in his hand…and with his other, reached out to his precious little girl. In his hand was a black box.

The little girl opened the box and there was a pearl necklace…a REAL and beautiful pearl necklace.
--Pastor Judy

Isn’t this just like what God does with us? There are things we cherish so much in this world, things that God asks us to give to Him. Of course we are hesitant at first…those are our treasures, our plastic pearls…we can’t give them away…we can’t give them to God, they are ours.

But when we do give our gifts to God, when we hand over the cheap pearl necklaces…God blesses us with beautiful, real pearls. Pearls that are so much better than our pink pearls, our cheap and plastic pearls we bought with our piggy bank money.

The little girl in the story tried so hard to keep her pearls. They were so special to her. But when she finally decided to give them to her daddy, he surprised her and gave her something so much more special.
--reposted from Carla Huber

My life seems So comical sometimes.  God is constantly teaching me new things and challenging me to pick up my cross and legit follow him.  I'll never get it perfectly together, but day by day I choose to place one foot in front of the other and walk against the the swarms of people coming at me.  I choose to give up of myself in order to gain something more valuable than any human standard of wealth. Just recently I've been learning to surrender a particular area.  For so long I clung to this "pearl" that was mine.  Anytime anyone else even wanted to hold my "pearl" i got fearful and snatched it back.   Part of me always desired a better pearl, but I wasn't willing to give mine up.  
Then, just recently God told me to sit down and look at the pearls I had.  He said look at what you have.  Oh my was I in awe of this "pearl" that I had.  I loved it.  I never ever wanted to part from this "pearl".  I saw it in a new light and treasured the "pearl" and was ready to finally put it on and not just hold it firmly in my hand. I was ready to wear my "pearl" with pride and joy and love. 
Not a day later God came to me and said, you love me?  Give me that pearl.  WHAT??? You just showed me the value of my pearl.  You just pointed to all the beauty and worth in this pearl and now you want it? Wait, no! I've held on to this for so long, I don't knwo what I would be without this pearl.  I don't know who I would be without this pearl.  I don't want anyone else to have this pearl.  It's MINE! Those dreaded words.  
Just like the girl in this story though.  With tears in my eyes I decided a few days before hearing thsi analogy, to give God my pearl.  Oh man, with tears and hurt all attached.  Walking away from the thing you value so much is not an easy feat.  Walking away from something you have held on to for so long is not easy at ALL.  Though God hasn't revealed his greater pearl to me yet, I know he has it coming.  And honestly, right now he is offering me something even more valuable.  He is offering me himself.  I add my own part of the story and it comes right before he pulls out the better pearls, he says:


My girl, I love you.  
You are beautiful with or without these pearls.
Let me dry your tears.
Thank you for choosing me.  
I want to spend time with you.
I want to show you that I love you. 
Come dance with me.
Come eat with me.
Come, darling.
Let me show you my love for you.


I am in the moment before he reveals his new greater pearl.  I am in the moment when he looks deeply into my eyes and dries my tears and says, "just be with me".  I will love you more than those pearls could ever love you.  I will show you the wonders of the world and the joy I give.  Just come, spend some time with me and you will forget about that pearl. Then, when you become so in love with me and so fixated on me. Then, then, my little girl, my child, my beloved, I will show you the greater pearl that I have in store for you and together we will rejoice!

Psalm63

O God, you are my God;
Earnestly I seek you;
My souls thirsts for you;
My flesh faints for you,
As in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
Beholding your power and your glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
My lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
In your name I will lift up my hands.
My souls will be satisfied as with fat and riich food,
And my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
For you have been my help,
And in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
Your right hand upholds me.
Butthose who seek to destroy my life shall go down into the depths of the earth;
They shall be given over to the power of the sword; they shall e a portion for jackals.
But the king shall rejoice in God;
All who swear by him shall exult,
For the mouths of liars will be stopped.

A fresh start

Day one. New classes, new room, many new friends, a fresh start. I'm ready

Today was a great day. It brought mixed emotions though. I felt so great, but twice I was almost at the point of tears. I'll start with the great things though:

1. Started the morning with a workout. Always great
2. Was asked after work to begin training for another part of joes. I would be doing a lot of the stocking and buying the supply stuff. This is a lot
More responsibility, but a challenge which I always enjoy. Also it was just encouraging o know that they trust me and see potential and that I really am eager to put 100% in to the job.
3. I got a phone call or actually I returned his call an got to talk with nick stapleton for a solid chink of time. It is always encouraging to hear how god is wrking and through him and his ministry. I always leave the discussion blessed and challenged in some way. I am very thankful for him and that we can catch up every once and awhile.
4. Classes were great
5. Made some new friends
6. Go another phone call from a friend just telling me she had been burdened all this week to pray for me and just spent some time encouraing me. It meant a lot just knowing she was thinking and peayig for me. I always love prayer :)
7. And! I was so blessed ot begin a small group with a few girls From the launch team at painted door. We get alig great and it is exactly what I need. God is really working even just relationships with those girls which is so encouraging. Not only that, but we are going to study my favorite topic. How to put the biblical role of women into today's society whether in home church school relationships leadership etc. I am actually doing my research paper on this and am so excited about it. I would love to be doing this exact this 15 years from now. Teaching women what God has called our roles to be in society today. Cuz honestly it isn't right, and this I believe is one of the reasons our society is taking a downward spiral.

Well now the tear jerking moments. Nothing speificalky happened, but God just has been talking to me. He is telling me I need to let go. No pretending, no tryig to fake god out, or half way. I need to surrender completely a few things that I've been holding onto. I am scared I know it will hurt, but ultimately when I give everything over to christ I will be truly satisfied in him. Only he knows the bigger picture the bigger plan, and me wanting the control of this area is holding
me back. For 10 years I held on and gripped tightly even just the glimmer of hope that was instore with it, but god wants all of it, complete and utter surrender to his will. Then in christ alone
My hope will be found. he is my strength.
So this is what I'm learning through the people in my life, circumstances, etc. Oh man it will be hard and it's so scary so hard so painful so everything blah. But god is faithful :) and gracious, and loving, and good, and trustworthy
He is..

I know he is.

Welcome Home

Happy Birthday Dad (first and foremost!)
He is 59 this very day and heading off to India for the next two weeks.  Honestly, I'm a bit nervous and I am not normally that way.  Pray for him if you read this... just a short prayer for safety :)! Thanks

Well, I'm back and ready to kick off the new semester.  I'm beginning with a new mindset and a bit more of experience.  I feel refreshed and very ready for a new semester of learning and growth in many aspects of my life.

Last night was super encouraging. I had Chipotle to set the tone, but then was able to catch up a bit with Morgan Sutter a friend from Costa Rica that just transferred here and then hang out with some friends watching the Cowboys game during which I spent my time getting caught up on some important events that took place in the life of a friend.  It was just great!

I got trained on the new Joes equipment and took 7 espresso shots. ah. Yea i paid for that at 3am this morning when i couldn't sleep.  But overall, such a fun night.  After the game we raided 7/11 for slurpies. I didn't get one, but the results were similar to my 7 shot high. haha Lots of funny statements and sadly most surrounded by twitter (horrible).

Then today I went to a strategy meeting for the Painted Door and out to lunch with Denise and Ro which as always was fantastic.  Honestly, it was just such a blessing to come back to and be apart of for the first couple days back in Chicago.

And I have a room set up and settled in just the way I want.  Yea there is a few missing pieces here and there, but its great to have my own bed and what not.  I am so very thankful. 

So tomorrow the cycle begins.  New classes, new people, new goals, new projects, the whole kit and caboodle.  To go along with that, a new lifestyle. I'm beginning to start up my working out routine and healthy eating too like what I had in Costa Rica.  Honoring God with my body.  Not that I haven't been in the past, but let's just say I slacked a bit during break, so I'm ready for a jump start in that area.
Well, its an early morning for me and devotions are still needing to be done!

Goodnight!

Moody Semester 2

Ready or not, here it comes.

In just 48+ hours I will be hittin the sack, preparing myself for another bright start to a new semester at Moody Bible Institute.  As I pack up the clothes and things at home and prepare to head back to school, I begin to think of the things that happened this past semester: the blessings, the temptations, the discouragement, the fun, etc.  Before I begin this next semester I wanted to spend a moment highlighting a few of the moments at Moody thus far.

Moment #1: Move-in day

     *I learned I would be tripled with two people I was so excited to live with! The excitement was high. Here I was at the place I never dreamed I would be.  Ready and eager for the adventure to begin, not knowing what exactly to expect.

Moment #2: FYT bonding

     *Our cohort was crazy close and fun! From the retreat, to fun classtime discussions, we really connected and were able to really bond throughout the semester even creating our own lunch table :)! It willl be sad not having most of my classes with all those great people!

Moment #3: Cubs game

      *Free cubs tickets that I got to go with Nick Stapleton and mi padre.  Enough said! It was great!

Moment #4: Bed Bugs #1,2,& 3

       *One of the many challenges this past semester was never being settled.  I started out in a room with MJ and Kristin on 7N, but a month in was moved to Jenkins with Kristin because of bed bugs.  After about a month there I moved back into my room for a week, but sure enough got them again.  I was finally moved to 8N with a girl named Nikki.  It was stressful having to wash all my clothes over and over.  Honestly, I wanted to be settled, but I never felt that way.  I didn't have a bed that was really *my bed*.  It kept me relying on the Lord for my strength let's put it that way.

Moment #5: Joes

      *I knew going into school I needed a job.  Luckily early on I found a small catering job, that well wasn't super enjoyable, but was a job.  About 2 months into the semester I was called over to Joes by a girl I had met during the summer briefly named Haley.  She told me that they were needing a person to fill a spot at Joes coffee and asked me to fill out an application.  The next day I had an interview and the following MOnday I began training.  What an absolute blessing!! God's grace was so evident! That job really got me through some tough stuff that went on during the semester.  I love going to work and am looking forward to beginning again next week :)!

There have been many defining great and not-so-great moments, but I know for sure this is where God wants me.  I am learning and constantly being challenged to figure out who I am and who God has called me to be.  Each day he gives me new opportunities to choose him over my selfishness and over the temptations of the world.  Moody is such a humbling place.  I have always been the leader, always been the "spiritual" one, the ministry girl, but at Moody everyone is.  It isn't about making a name for yourself.  It isn't about standing out.
It is not about being somebody, but knowing somebody. 

So now, I am beginning again.  What do I want to do differently? How will this semester look different than the last?

     *Listen: w/o selfish intentions, w/o preparing what I will say after they finish, w/o interrupting, w/o distraction Proverbs 12:15 "Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others" 

     *Praise: for it is through magnifying God's glory that our joy is made complete.  In anything and everything I do, may I seek to praise God. Psalm 86:12 "I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with my whole heart; and i will glorify your name forevermore"

    *Fear Him: Tremble at his word.  Fear the Lord.  This is the beginning of all wisdom. Live not for the fear of man, but of God in whom all things were created. Isaiah 66:2 "My hands have made both heaven and earth; they and everything in them are mine. I, the Lord, have spoken! I will bless those who have humble and contrite hearts, who tremble at my Word" 

There are so many more things that I need to work on, but these three are a few of the big ones I see a need for in my life at this point.  Not sure what God has planned for this semester, but I know it will be different.  Last semester I went in to it for me, but its not about me.  It's about him, all about him.  My worth and happiness aren't built upon the knowledge I have, the people I know, the name I make for myself, or the classes I take.  It is rooted and grounded in the Lord who will never leave nor forsake me.

Gracias Dios

por lo que soy,

por la mujer que me has creado ser

por la universidad donde tengo la oportunidad aprender y crecer en mi conocimiento de tu

tu eres mi padre,

mi amor,

mi esperanza

solo tu dios, solo tu puedes ofrecerme una esperanza.

solo tu me das satissfaccion

te doy mi vida,

te doy mis planes,

mis aspiraciones,

mis debilidades

conformame a su imagen,

preparame para la calle que voy a caminar,

dame paciencia

te confio y

te amo